FROM A WOMBAT:
A TRAVEL REPORT



By Christa Koenig
Author of
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TOILETS ACROSS EUROPE
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CHRISTOPHER WOMBAT AND FRIENDS
FAMOUS WOMBATS IN HISTORY


Pam and Murray of Queensland, Australia are Internet chat friends of the author. One day they sent a toy ambassador of friendship to the Koenig home in Tuebach, Switzerland, (bordering Lake Constance). Here is how to order your own wombat from Australia. Prefer to shop in the United States?

I was born as PHASCOLOMYS URSINIUS, truly a
literary breed. My first stuffed breath I took in China, but than I came to the land of my fathers, Australia, to wombat-country.

Pam and Murray, of
Queensland, Australia adopted me, but thought, I should smell the air of Switzerland, where their Internet friend Christa lives. Together with my travel friends, a T-shirt, two little books, a cap and a kitchen cloth, called Hanky, they sent me on a long journey.

Well at the beginning, I hated that envelope. I would have preferred a trip in a nice cosy box, where I would have had more air. But over the years, life thought us wombats, only the strongest will see the garden of Eden, so I accepted my life.

First, at the post office somebody tried to kill me, hit something on my head and I heard how a lady said, wow, Switzerland, wish I would be this stamp I just put on, I doubt she would - its not nice to travel with a headache......

Then somebody has thrown us together with boxes and letters into a bumpy thing on four wheels. Next to us was a letter, traveling to Sydney, on the other side a box on the way to Kiwiland under us a fat smelly parcel - must have been a dead fish in it... But on top of me, a tiny pink envelope a love letter.

When we arrived at the airport, next to my headache one of my leg was hurting, my stomach grumbling, hmmm Pam and Murray forgot to give me some food along. Oh how I missed my beloved grass or to dig a bit in the earth. All I could do, was lying stiff on that T-shirt. Ok, so far so good.

If I thought, traveling in a car is boring, you never have been in a big bird. Boy oh boy, that noise, when they start to go up in the air. I thought my stomach is coming out of my ears and then I was pressed again in the T-shirt... my ears were suddenly closed, not talking about the hunger - and that for hours.....

I tried to relax a bit - but then this jumbo bird went down again and the way it stopped!!!! I really thought, this is my very last minute. But it wasn't. The people outside spoke such a funny language... weng wing wu.. tsching tschong tschu.. oooooooooooooh yes, Chinese, that's the language from the country, where I took my first breath.. I felt so safe!! .. I am going back to my real mother.. to mummy sewing machine...

But it was only a dream.. after a few hours, the bird was flying again, this time in another direction, so I decided.. make the best out of it - sleep! I slept and slept till I heard a friendly voice.. plse stop smoking.. fasten your seat belt..

We are landing in Zürich in about 10 minutes.. What's that? Zürich? Sorry, I didn't see anything.. not even a tiny window was in that envelope and all the other letters were still resting....

They took us all out, again to a car... and the next part we made in a so called train. A train is a moving snake, the head is in front and it is possible to sit in the snake's body. A man with a similar cap as my friend in my envelope, was running through it.. shouting all the time.. tickets please, tickets please.. well thank god, we didn't have to show a ticket.

I was starving, I had to go to the toilet, I was tired, sick and again somebody put us out and in a car. I was so fed up by then and on top of all, suddenly i was in prison - a prison box... me!!! Done nothing at all, no stealing, no killing..together with an envelope from Maine in a prison box.. our prison box was called P.O. Box 45 - Koenig. I accepted my faith. After a few hours, the little door opened, a naked hand reached in.. gripped us.. and off we went.

The next thing I heard was... Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiista, mail for you. Hey I am not a mail, I am a male!! A wombat male!!...

Strange.. but what a relief, this Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiista must be an angel, carefully she opened the envelope. A young lad next to her asking what's that? Let me see, let me see... they looked at us, Ooooooooh, that's from Pam and Murray.. oooooooh, aaaaaaaah, I was the star.. They called me, what a cute little thing, Good day mam, I am a wombat.. hmmmm seems they don't speak our language..

Now Pam and Murray, I have to rest, to sleep, to recover. I just want to tell you one more thing, I have a new name..

HYRONIMUS WOMBAT!!

Thank you for paying my stamp ticket and I hope you are all fine..

greetings

Hyronimus wombat, new address: Tuebach, Switzerland


Copyright ©1999 Christa Koenig
All Rights Reserved
Citation Permitted Only With Credit

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