Are so many females starting to date females?
Only "lastly" for sex
By Jaime Brown
North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University
Decades ago it was said to be immoral or also dirty and nasty to see females together in an intimate kind of way.
Today "female on female" is very common and can be seen almost anywhere.
When we cut on our televisions, we see commercials advertising things such as "girls gone wild" which in some parts show females on females intimately.
We then turn our televisions to the next station and view music videos that have females dancing and kissing all over each other. Lastly, we then see this trend on our college campuses. What is this new trend?
On a quest for knowledge and curiosity I interviewed random females to see what is the big hype about being with other females.
Out of the females interviewed, Ana, Deb and Sarah all had different and interesting stories which stood out. Of all the females interviewed most of their decisions for wanting to be with the same sex lay along the lines of emotional stability, curiosity and lastly sex!
The time was about 2:45pm and I was about to meet with Ana outside of the student union. As she was approaching I would describe her as being very tomboy like.
She wore a red T-shirt with the name brand label Sean John and dark rinsed blue jeans to match. Her hair which was very long was pulled back in to a ponytail and covered by a red Sean John baseball cap.
She walked passed our school mates and gave the guys five as she passed. Ana, who was very much outspoken, explained to me that she has always been a lesbian. Ana described her childhood and college years as a female who always fit into the boy crowd. She explained to me that she always like playing with little army men, cars and like other boy things like checking out girls.
I asked Ana had she ever tried to hide her sexuality and she stated "Never."
So then I asked is this just a trend that is going on right now, the "girl on girl thing." She replied that she thought in some aspects it is a trend but at the same time we are in the year 2002 and a lot more people are beginning to feel comfortable with their sexuality.
Ana also felt that if society didn't keep these controversial topics in an uproar all the time, then society would get bored and have no one to pick on and use as their scapegoats.
I asked Ana to tell me more about herself. She stated that she had never been with a man before and has no intentions of ever being with one. She who is now currently in a relationship with another female and couldn't be happier. Ana showed me a picture of her and female friend. Her girlfriend was very pretty.
She a short well kept hair cut. She wore a black fitted dress in the picture and Ana wore a white T-shirt and jeans with a baseball cap turned backwards. I couldn't hold back so I had to ask "What is the sex like?" She replied that all she knows is sex with a woman.
She stated that her girlfriend had previously been with a man and what she could gather from that is that a woman knows what a woman wants. As an outsider looking in, you could consider Ana as being your average lesbian because Ana is not sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
Ana, who tends to dress and carry herself life a guy, has had the historical name of being called the "butch" lesbian.
Deb, the next female that I interviewed, looked like your average girl next door.
I met Deb at a cafe off of Wendover. I was running late so she was there sitting waiting on me to arrive.
I would describe her as very pretty, tall, slender, fair skinned with shoulder length curly hair. She wore some very expensive labels. She seemed to me to be the type that would have all of the guys falling for her. She stated to me that she at one point was voted most popular at her high school, most attractive, best dressed and homecoming queen.
She stated never in a million years would she see her self with female. But David, who was her boyfriend, cheated on her and physically abused her is what made her go to the other side. She made her decision to be a female based on the emotional stability that her female partner offered. She admits that she has had other boyfriends and and has not sworn off men entirely.
She told me that she some day wants a family and a woman cannot give her that. I asked her what was sex like and she told me that she had only been intimate with her female partner twice!
Her first experience was definintely different she stated. She stated that the sex was more like "sex to her soul as opposed to sex to her body with a man." She felt like it was more like an emotional bonding between her and her partner that just a quick intimacy that she gets with a man. She described sex with a man is more sex for him, the sex is for him, and sex with a woman its for the both of the them.
Everyone leaves happy! After interviewing Deb, I was curious to find out if there was a certain category in which you could put her. Excitingly, I surfed the net and the TV -- until I found the title "lipstick lesbian". This title perfectly suited her.
A lipstick lesbian is a female who you cannot obvious tell that she is gay. These females wear make-up, dress in stylish-chic clothes and are very much adored by the opposite sex. I then decided to accompany a friend of mine to a gay club.
I spotted this girl who had red spiked hair and a tongue ring and what looked to be nipple rings piercing through her shirt. She wore these thick sole black thigh high boots and fishnet panty hose with holes in them. I watched her for a few minutes.
She would dance with girls and then switch and then dance with guys. I though that was quite interesting. I asked my friend did he know her and he said yes so I then asked him would he let her know that I was doing a paper and would she be willing to talk to me. She agreed and my friend introduced us.
Sarah was her name and as interesting as she looked she defiantly was. I asked her about her sexuality and she said that she dates both men and women and does not limit herself to any sex, race, hair color or any thing separating people.
She said that she was a free spirit and human being is a human being. I asked her about herself and she stated that she had attended UNCG and majored in political science. She was currently taking a few classes at A&T to get certified for her chosen field.
She believed that you can't limit yourself to just a limited number of things. If you do, you will never know what you can do or what you are missing. She told me that she currently has a boyfriend and a girlfriend and it the best thing in the world. Sarah said that she was not always like this. She has friends who are straight as well as openly gay.
She knew what it was like to straight but always has that curiosity in the back of her mind to see what would be like to be with another woman. She met a female in the same club where we were.
After getting to be good friends with the girl, they became intimate. She also made a comment along the lines of a woman knowing what another woman wants. She told me that she still has a boyfriend and he is bisexual. She told me from time to time she, her girlfriend and boyfriend all become intimate together. She told me that any time that there is a question of curiosity festering within her she must act on it. Being with a woman was one of these, and she said she has no regrets.
After meeting with Sarah, I wandered to myself i there is a category that she possibly could fit into to categorize her behavior. I surfed the web again and cut on the TV in hopes of finding someone similar, I found nothing but the definition of a bisexual person. Sarah definitely fit the criteria. As we all know a bisexual person is someone who is attracted sexually and physically to the same and opposite sex.
I must admit that I thought that the main reason that females were starting date, as far as from relationships and become intimate with other females was all because of sex. But most of the females interviewed like Deb, Ana and Sarah all stated that it was one of the last things on their mind. Sex is probably the stereotypical thought people are considering when hit with question of "female on female" relationships.
Again I ask the question "To Be or not To Be?"
Why are so many females starting to date other females. I found an answer and I hope that you were able to find yours.
(Names were changed to keep identities unknown)
Copyright ©2002 Jaime Brown
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Citation Permitted Only With Credit